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Almost every parent faces this problem. Some parents learn to ignore it, while others wreck their nerves over it. It leads to frustration, and countless fights and arguments. Neither is desirable. So, here are some tips to overcome it: Typically, the child's room is overflowing with things, and there is not enough space in the cupboards and drawers. So, the first thing to do is to provide more space for their stuff, which may appear useless to you but is very precious for them. You might have to invest in additional shelves, boxes under the bed, or chests of drawers. Always, make more room than is required today, because the stuff will go on increasing and the problem will remain unsolved if there is not sufficient space. Moreover, there should be enough space to let the child take out what he wants without having to empty the whole drawer. Next thing to do is to make a routine and set up reasonable expectations. Many children are by nature very meticulous and organized; some are not. Also, their concept of tidiness may be very different from yours. If you think you can see their room spic and span all through the day, you are mistaken. It is an unreasonable expectation; it will only lead to frustration. It would be better if you take your child's views and then establish a reasonable standard of tidiness, and how often that should be achieved. Which leads on to the next consideration. What is your goal? Is your goal to teach your children how to responsibly look after their belongings - or is it that their untidiness upsets and irritates you? This is important because, in order to achieve the first goal, you will need to allow them to fail at times - i.e., not tidy up, and live with the consequences of that. Which may mean that you have to put up with their untidiness for a bit longer! You need to establish reasonable expectations, such as putting things away before bedtime and a once-a-week thorough tidy-up. Then you can draw up some kind of contract. Once you and your child agree on the general framework of the contract, the next thing is what to do if they do, or don't, achieve that? Again, it is better to focus on rewards such as privileges earned based on achieving the goal. This can be combined with a chart system connected to other chores. Of course, you can use some punishments for failure also, but they must be logical consequences, and not out of proportion with the crime. Many parents find the "black bag" technique quite effective. This is a simple exercise of picking up anything still lying on the floor at 1pm on Saturday and putting it into a big black bag. This bag will be thrown into the attic, basement or garage for a week. This bag can be 'earned' back if the tidy goal is achieved next Saturday or it will be thrown into the basement and finally into the garbage. But most children learn the lesson much before that happens because they run out of toys. You can achieve tremendous success in teaching your child to tidy up his room only if you can keep a firm check on your emotions. Make sure you don't shout and scream. As always, you can succeed by being calm but firm. Also, give full freedom to your children to do it their way. You must go up to the room at the appointed time to check. The black bag technique works very well. No child wants to part with his belongings. At the most you might have to use it a couple of times. That is usually enough to drive home the message. Finally, if there is a special reason why you want the room tidied up at a non-contracted time - if, for example, you have visitors who will need to borrow your child's room for a night or two - then remember that this is extra to your original contract, so it would be only fair to offer an additional incentive for them to tidy up. It is, after all, for your benefit, not theirs!
Article Source: http://www.go-see.info
More information on how to solve children's behavioral problems can be found on Dr. Noel Swanson's website, which is all about correcting Child Behavior Problems. Make sure you get his FREE newsletter and 1 hour audio too.
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